Seven Ways to Say, "No!"

Published: Nov 10, 2004

A common remedy for improving your time management is to develop the ability of saying, "NO." Since it is easier to recommend than to do, here are some tips on how to do it.

Start with your self image. What are you thinking when you say, "NO?" Do you see yourself as a slacker - all talk and no action? Do you sense others perceive you as uncooperative? This requires you to be very truthful to yourself by differentiating between reality and imagination. We seem able to say, "NO" when we become overwhelmed by work, stress, or when a loved one delivers an ultimatum. Why not be pro-active by doing the same when we're striving for more success?
Practice self-discipline in saying, "NO!" Accept that it's only natural to receive requests when you express your opinions and advice often. Recognize and resist the ego-stroking aspect of requests. It could be you are not the most competent to fulfill the request.
Replace the task refused with something better. Convince others you can contribute a great deal without being on a committee or by doing every task requested of you. Counter with, "Do you want me to forsake doing (one of your more meaningful contributions)?" Or, recommend a more competent person.
Calculate the risks of saying, "NO." Test the requester's reaction to your refusal. Delay your final decision to give you more time to assess reactions. Test your network with informal surveys.
Say, "NO" and duck which is taken from the, "Do It and Duck" strategy used by some bureaucrats. This is, of course, depending on the situation where: (a) the stakes are not high, (b) you've noted few positive results when doing similar tasks, or (c) you're feeling inundated with insincere requests. Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that can happen to you or to others?"
You can always pretend not to hear -- a common technique with seniors.
There's always the escape hatch, "I'll consider (or I may be in a different position) AFTER I complete Project X." Be sincere and appear to be sincere with this option. Check your frequency of using this tactic.

Author Information

Gerry McRae

Creator of UncleMaxSays.com

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