Your battling arms can be a document, person or a pre-arranged event.
Assume you are confronting a difficult person in person.
Document ==> A report or action plan referring to problem resolution(s) can be left in view when searching for another document.
Person ==> Bring along a person with an intimidating appearance.
My favorite guy was a heavy duty mechanic with an imposing physique.
My guy wouldn't harm a fly. He had a great sense of humor and thoroughly enjoyed our occasional excursions as respite from his father's shop. Besides, he liked the extra pay.
When negotiations aren't going in your favor – cue this guy to act impatient. My guy would shift weight from one foot to the other and crack his nuckles.
Almost every private security agency has such a person for hourly hire.
Event ==>
It was just before the ousting of the Shah of Iran. My seat-mate on a flight to Iran inquired about the nature of my trip. When I said I was going there to resolve some problems for a client relating to agency relations and government regulations.
He asked, "How long are you planning to be in Tehran?"
I said, "Four days. It seems to be a complex issue."
His reply was a definitive, "My friend, you should have planned for four months."
It seems he had a lot of experience doing business in Iran.
On the second day of bouncing from one government official to another it become clear the gentleman on the plane was correct. I shared my frustration with my client's agent in Iran.
He suggested I return to the office of the apparent decision-maker next day accompanied by his neighbor who often wore the Muslim burqa. He said this would strike fear into the heart of any government bureaucrat.
Fortunately, there was a bench in the hallway commanding a view into the bureaucrats office. She sat there with only her peering eyes visible. The agent was correct. This bureaucrat seemed afraid to close his office door. He was too afraid to ask why she was in my company. It was obvious he was in great discomfort.
Everything was settled to our satisfaction within minutes and I had one day for sightseeing.
There was a need to re-negotiate a leasing agreement for a re-conditioned photocopier. The salesperson said he was unable to satisfy my request. He said only the boss could make such a change. He warned me she was a tough lady and there was very little chance I could work any deal with her. This probability was confirmed by the person who had referred me to this company.
I visited the plant without an appointment so as not to give her a chance to refuse an appointment over the phone or to have an opportunity to out-prepare me.
She reluctantly agreed to meet me at the front counter because she was involved in an important meeting in her office. In the process of spreading out my documents on the counter I had inadvertently turned over a paper upon which I had written my action plan on the reverse.
It was too late when I realized she had read:
To my surprise we never got past step one. We ended with a very generous buyout price. I was fortunate to have a company check in my case. And, I discovered a technique that has gained several WIN-WIN situations since.
I was engaged to assist with a startup. Inordinate delay for permission from a government department was preventing all progress. The Owner/President and I went over there to see if we could expedite.
We were told this permit requires months to obtain. Each clerk we encountered said any appeals for exception was handled by the top person and it was difficult to get an appointment with her. At the same time references seemed cloaked with a combination of fear, deference and extreme subordination. We made it clear we were not intending to leave and would return each day until we received our permit.
Finally, we were ushered into a huge office and told to sit while we waited for the supreme commander to arrive.
My client was about to sink down into one of the chairs when I exclaimed, "Don't sit there – you'll get skewered." I'd been is such offices before. These chairs were heavily padded leather buckets slanting backwards and about three or four inches from the floor. I pointed to the chair on the other side of the huge desk. It was jacked up to a commanding level.
She strode in demanding, "Well, what are you two doing in MY office?"
"Your staff told us this is where we can get action on our application," was my firm reply.
This seemed to have enough subservience to respect her authority.
"Sit down!" That was not easy to ignore. A stare at my client was sufficient to remind him of my earlier instructions.
Whether it was the discomfort we caused by remaining to stand or it was the cessation of power games, we left quickly with the official permission in hand.
It turned out all permissions for our type of operation were subject of some forthcoming regulatory changes. All requests required her personal attention and she didn't want this extra duty to clutter up her well controlled little fiefdom.
As we departed we complimented her on the fine way she managed her department.
Subsequent contacts with that department showed proof both parties earned respect in a Win-Win resolution.
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